Blogging about Boglins

Why did I awake at that hour? The bedroom was completely dark. I made to get up, chill for a few minutes and get back to sleep. But as I did, I was caught by two glowing eyes. They are glowering at me from at the top of the dresser. I am startled, but then I laugh. Because I quickly realize the face behind those eyes…

A face only a dork could love – callous yet soft, at once grotesque and endearing. The Boglin. Perhaps no other toy best describes what I loved about the figures of my childhood. The Boglin epitomized everything a kid was scared of and obsessed over, all at once. An ugly under-the-bed monster pet hand puppet. Is it any wonder they stole my heart?

Boglins were awesome, and still are, because the core series was a set of rubber monster puppets with a wide range of emotion. Some of them allowed greater manipulation of facial expressions, others were just plain weird and thus more desirable.

The rubber held up well to play but unfortunately time is not the kindest to Boglins. They tend to collect debris and small to major damage is common on Boglins being resold. Most sellers are very upfront about the condition of a Boglin, but if you can’t see a side or a hand or a tail, you should ask the seller for more information. The paint often fades or wears off and parts can start to separate.

So in all, you shouldn’t lick your Boglins and you should make sure you know your product before you drop the cash.

But Boglins were always the province of my older brother, because he owned one and I didn’t. Sure he was made to share, but it’s one of those things where the age difference really sucked. If we weren’t six years apart I imagine I would have had a Boglin of my very own. And that Boglin would be a good bro and we’d still be chilling today. But for whatever reason, the duality of figures given to bros didn’t shine through here. It was never something I was bitter about, but I always wanted one of my very own.

It never occurred to me that you could buy this stuff used. When I finally had a Boglin of my own I had only been maybe a year or two into collecting games, and it was this connection that lead me to my first little guy.

Living in the Annapolis Valley at the time, I was out to town with my Dungeons and Dragons group to get a bite at a local pub before we split up for the day. As we passed by a store called Retro Runway it was pointed out to me because it was pretty apparent that I geeked out hard over old stuff even then. Well, it turns out that it was mostly a clothing store. But on the shelf next to the door, there was this cardboard cage with a friggin’ Boglin leering out. I was floored.

The price was very fair, I was short on phsyical cash and I figured I’d hit the ATM on the way home. I was excited, I’d have that Boglin yet! When we finished at the pub the store was closed, Boglin – DENIED.

I was bummed, but on the way home I found a twenty dollar bill and the gears started turning. I was going to get that sucker regardless. But this was more than enough to bring my available funds into Boglin territory without having to rush to an ATM the next day. It was like serendipity, man, this Boglin was meant for me and I was meant for it. The Fates conspired to adorn my hand with a wicked monster puppet. So it was to be!

Of course, I contemplated “what if it’s already sold?” but my resolve was set. The next afternoon, I purchased a Boglin. Finally mine. And I, finally beholden to the grim visage of the Boglin.

To be fair, I was satisfied at one Boglin. Upon getting this little dude of course I researched all of the veritable varieties. The Soggies, the Action Boglins, the coveted Halloween Boglins. Honestly though, I was so pleased with my very standard Boglin that I wasn’t feeling too needy. Of course if I ever found a Slobster or a Blobkin I would buy it in a heartbeat. But I guess I was just too satisfied with how everything just fell into place.

There’s this place I visit fairly frequently that sells mostly old games and toys. The toys are typically action figures and to be honest I peruse them much less than I do the games. The collecting scene is at the point here where honestly there’s not a lot of turnover in stock and some vendors even admit to using eBay to get items to sell at the Flea Markets here.

At any rate, I believe I picked up TMNT 3 for the NES there a little under a year ago now. As I said my goodbyes, I start to leave and I see the underside of something. Oblong and purple. I ask “Whoa! Is that a Boglin?” I ask him to name a price and he tells me five dollars. Well, uh, yeah I’m buying that Boglin. That’s a no brainer.

This little Splatt dude is smaller and has less articulation. Where the larger Bonk has moveable eyes, the smaller Boglins don’t. However, I find he is much more flexible in the face and as such I can get a much wider range of expressions from the little guy. But while he has more elastic expressions, the difference in the eyes makes it as a whole less emotional than the bigger Boglin.

And not to disparage the smaller Boglins! Because I’m so happy that stars aligned and pointed me towards a Boglin for the second time. These two have been the only Boglins I’ve seen in the wild. And man, if it ever happens again I’ll be nerding out all over again.

The last time I was in there, he told me out of the blue that he had sold a Boglin to someone just a few weeks prior. That got the gears thinking about Boglins in general, and I finally decided to get myself a Slobster.

Oh my! This is the first time I’ve actively seeked out a Boglin of my own volition. The first time that I found the Boglin and the Boglin hasn’t found me. And I’ve got to say – I’m more than pleased. There’s a bit of damage where the eye is out more than it should but this was made clear in the auction and I figured it’d be better to have him in a permanently zany expression than to buy a Slobster that’s missing an eye altogether!

Where were you al my childhood, bro? For a Maritime nerd this combines the ubiquitous rubber lobsters of my homeland with the rubber monsters that we as kids held in favour.

The Soggy Boglins find a basis within aquatic creatures. They are perhaps the most interesting looking but also the most different. Because they are so wildly different, I sought this little guy out rather than looking for similar phenotypes to what I had procured already.

The main issue with Slobsters is that the eyes are on stalks and so they can’t be manipulated. This drastically changes his range of emotion though with constructive mouth and chin puppetry you can still get a great deal of depth from him. But his normal look is distinctively less ghoulish and much more happy than a normal Boglin. It’s infectious, I can hardly look at the little dude without feeling the need to smile. And that’s not a bad thing.

His larger claw has a lever to open and close it. However, as this is not integrated into the guts of the puppet you will require a second hand free of any other Boglins to operate the claw. I prefer to rock dual Boglins though, the claw is no big deal.

If I ever rock another Boglin, you can be sure I’ll be right back to nerding out over it. They are just so iconic of everything I loved at that time. Even the little dudes that I never had or experienced or saw as a kid cut me with nostalgia. If I’d known there was a 2000 line at the time, let’s just say I’d have rocked them all. Kind of like how I almost missed the newer releases of Mad Balls, I was in the dark about those Boglins. Sad Face.

These dudes really do come alive in your hands. They can sit there, motionless. But once they’re on your hand their face really sparks with personality. There have been finger puppets and smaller monochrome plastic toys. I may get some of these down the road but I don’t find it imperative as the same range of character wouldn’t be there. But I would be lying if I said I was completely immune to their effects.

I’m going to have to cut this off now, because I could sing the virtues of these rubber monsters for a long time yet. I still find that they look very interesting and they will likely be showing up in the background of more than one blog post here. If you’ve got a great deal on a Boglin in the works – jump on it. But don’t ignore the caveats.

I’ll always remember the little guy in the cage. Sitting there, apart from the rest of the shop like a Mogwai in a box.